Countdown to Extinction 15
by kasrkintrooper
Summary: Rumble makes a discovery that rocks his world. Read only if you can laugh at yourself.


The Transformers are the property of their owners. No copyright infringement is intended, but this short story and plot are mine.

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**Countdown to Extinction 1.5**

The following takes place between the Ultimate Doom and Countdown to Extinction GI cartoon episodes  


Rumble walked in with a dazed look on his face."Hey, we got work to do" Skywarp told him. "Hurry up!"  
Frenzy noticed his distress. "What's wrong?"  
"Rumble, report" Soundwave asked.  
"Your not gonna believe this, boss",  
What is it? Tell us!"Skywarp demanded.  
"Those humans slave girls. I heard them talking".  
"Yeah? So?" Skywarp said.  
"You're not gonna believe what they were talking about".  
Skywarp was through asking him. He picked him up.  
"What is it? Are they planning to revolt?"  
"Put me down. Nah, it's something else. Something real sick".  
Skywarp put him down. He could tell he was upset.  
"Okay, Just let it out." Frenzy came out to stand next to his brother.  
"Yeah, just say it". Thundercracker approached and Skywarp signaled that he should keep quiet.  
Rumble looked down and started telling them.

They didn't see me. I was about to go up to them and smack them around so they'd get back to work but then I heard them mention Starscream. So I decided to listen. One of them, a fat one, said she thought he was cute and how all he needed was some love. Then another fat one said she thought so too. And then...I couldn't believe my audio processors. I thought they weren't working right But they were fine. She said, I wonder what it would be like to bang him.  
"Bang him?" asked Thundercracker? "Like, shoot him?"  
"No, stupid".  
"Who you calling stupid?" Thundercracker asked, getting really angry.  
Soundwave stepped between them. "Rumble, continue" he said in a monotone.  
"It's what the humans do. To procreate".  
"Whaat...that's stupid. _We_ don't procreate".  
"Yeah", said Skywarp. "We're robotic organisms. We get created".  
"I know that! But she said it!"  
"Oh yeah? And just how did the fat human think she was going to accomplish a human reproductive act with Starscream? He's a freakin' F-15!" said Skywarp.  
"Do humans normally procreate with machines?" asked Frenzy.  
"I don't know. How do you explain the motorized human? Acid rain didn't hurt him" Rumble said.  
"I heard about that one" said Thundercracker.  
"The fat human girl had a plan" Rumble said.  
"A plan?" said Frenzy".  
"Yeah. A plan".  
"What's the plan?" asked Thundercracker.  
Just then, Starscream walked in, having forgotten a data pad he needed before taking Dr. Arkeville to Cybertron. He realized immediately something very serious was being discussed.  
"What plan? What are you taking about? I am in charge here. You can't make plans without asking me first!" he yelled.  
"It's not that kinda plan" Rumble said.  
"Well, what kind of plan is it?"  
"It's not our plan, it's the fat human girl's plan" Frenzy informed him.  
"Are the fat human girls planning to revolt? They'll pay for that!" Starscream said.  
"No, but they're revolting" cracked Rumble. "Get it?" Everyone laughed. Even Soundwave.  
Starscream began to lose his temper. Were they laughing at him?  
"I demand an explanation" he demanded.  
"Okay" said Rumble."The fat human girl's plan is...they want you to procreate with them".  
"Whaat..." Starscream was nearly speechless. "What kind of plan is that?" He thought they were joking.  
"If this is another one of your practical jokes, Soundwave, I'll..."  
"It's not an escape plan. It's a different kinda plan" Frenzy added.  
"Rumble was about to tell us how they were going to do it" Thundercracker interjected.  
"Do what?" asked Skywarp.  
"Shut up" Thundercracker said, pushing him.  
"Okay Rumble, what did they say?"  
"She said you could take your boom pole and..."  
"My refueling line??!! What does any of this have to do with my refueling line?!?!"  
"Yeah. Our boom poles are for refueling" Thundercracker stated. "In the air".  
"What do they want to do with it?" Starscream asked.  
Rumble was was speechless. He didn't know how to explain the bizarre human obsession with inanimate objects and weird sexual acts,  
"Well" said Thundercracker. "Tell us."  
He explained the human sex act to all of them. This time, even Frenzy looked like his programming was going to crash.  
"That makes no sense" said Soundwave. "Probability of failure: one-hundred and twenty-five per-cent".  
"Is that how the Autobots get the humans to work for them?" asked Frenzy.  
"Starscream..are you alright?" Skywarp asked.  
"NO! I'm not alright!" He looked livid.  
"Boss, I'll get rid of her".  
"Rumble, you idiot, you just made him mad!" Thundercracker shouted.  
"Of course I'm mad! I'm mad for not thinking of it myself first!" Starscream said, smirking.  
They looked at him, shocked. Had the Air Commander finally lost it?  
"Well, I'm just saying...there aren't any female Decepticons around here". He lowered his voice. They all leaned in closer.  
"_People are talking_." He waited. "They think we're _doing_ each other" Starscream added. The two Seekers weren't the sharpest knives in the drawer.  
"Whaat..." asked Skywarp.  
They both looked very confused this time.  
"Doing what with each other?" asked Soundwave.  
"Here" Rumble pulled out an envelope. "I found these pictures and stories on the Internet".  
"And?" said Starscream. He didn't know about any pictures.  
"Well, take a look for yourself". Rumble passed them around,  
Starscream was horrified. The envelope contained images of Starscream and other Decepticons in compromising positions.  
"What is Megatron doing to me in this one?" he asked. Everyone studied the image.  
"I don't know, It looks like he trying to tackle you or something" said Frenzy  
"Whatever it is, it looks painful" said Thundercracker.  
"Hey! said Skywarp. "What are me and Thundercracker supposed to be doing in this one?"  
"What about these female Autobots? What are they doing in those?" asked Thundercracker pointing to two females embracing.  
"Let me see that" said Soundwave. Starscream snatched them out of his hands. His optics grew wide.  
"I'll keep these" he said, stuffing them into a compartment in his arm. "I'll have to study them...for research".  
"Rumble, go get some human females. I'll tell Dr. Arkeville there's been a change of plans" Starscream said, an idea forming.  
"Okay Boss" he said.  
"But Rumble"  
"Yes Boss?"  
"No fat ones".  
"You got it".  
"Wait". It was Soundwave  
"What is it?" said Starscream impatiently. He was in a hurry to test the fat girl's plan out.  
"I have no boom pole",  
"I'll get Dr. Arkeville to make you one. A big, fat, long one".  
"Upgrade appreciated".

Shortly after Starscream left, Thundercracker and Skywarp nearly suffered system failure.  
They were reading the stories written about them by emo-goths.

**Will it work? Read the sequel. Countdown to Extinction 2.6 is up and complete; Starscream comes up with a new plan that will have far-reaching consequences.**


End file.
